Back to square one.

After a very long weekend with no information from our adoption agency, I finally got a call this morning. Very sad news. This little girl we had our hearts set on is not to be ours. The China Center for Adoption Affairs has removed her from the adoptable list because her development is so far behind. From the records we have and what they're saying now, she has regressed substantially since the spring. She is no longer standing or responding to her own name. My heart breaks for her. She probably just needs a mommy and a daddy to love her and she would grow and advance, but we are not to be them. It is very difficult to picture her languishing in an orphanage forever, never really becoming the woman she could have become. Makes me wondere what God has planned for her.

I am quite sad, butI got a head start on the grieving on Friday and over the weekend. Honestly, I expected this type of outcome. I tried hard not to expect anything, but, as I'm sure you understand, that is usually next to impossible. I'm also feeling somewhat relieved to finally have information. It was difficult not knowing.

How do we proceed? Well, China and our agency will make extra efforts to get us a new referral that fits our special needs requests as quickly as they can. What that means timewise is really hard to predict. We could have a referral tomorrow or it could take a month or two. It always depends on the little girls they have available and what their special needs are. Hopefully we'll travel before our expensive visas expire in February.

So, again, we wait. One of my favorite verses in the book of Isaiah is 64:4. It says, "No eye has seen a God besides You who acts on behalf of the one who waits for Him." It seems like we're waiting on China or our agency or on a child, but that's not really where it's at. We need to be waiting for Him to act. That is the only thing worth waiting for. No matter what my feelings tell me, I really do want to wait for Him to do this His way.

Thanks again for reading. I will post any updates. If you could still remember us in your prayers, that would be fabulous.